For the Hard Days: Start Where You Are

Some days are harder than others. Start where you are.

Some days are harder than others. On a good day, you might get up, get outside, tackle your to-do list, clean the house, answer your emails, exercise, and feel pretty good about what you accomplished.

This article isn't really for those days. This is for the days when getting out of bed feels hard. When the laundry feels like a mountain, your house is a mess, your list is too long, and even thinking about everything you should be doing makes you want to do absolutely nothing.

On those days, I want you to remember one thing: start where you are. Not where you were yesterday. Not where you think you should be. Not where somebody else is. Start wherever you happen to be today, because there's no bad place to start.

This is a menu, not a to-do list

Before we get into anything else, there's one important rule: these are not five more things you need to accomplish today. Please don't turn this article into another checklist.

Think of it as a menu. Look through the options and ask yourself, What feels doable right now? Maybe one thing sounds good, so you pick that. Maybe something else sounds completely impossible today, so you skip it. You don't have to do these things in order, you don't have to do all five, and you certainly don't have to complete the menu.

What feels possible can change from day to day. Some days you'll have more capacity. Other days, getting out of bed and making a cup of coffee might be enough. The whole point is to meet yourself wherever you happen to be today.

1. Start with the easiest thing

You've probably heard the advice to "eat the frog"—do the hardest or most unpleasant thing on your list first. Not today. Today, we're not eating the frog. We may not even look at the frog.

On a hard day, start with the easiest thing you can do. For me, that's often my morning coffee. There are mornings when getting out of bed is really difficult, but I know I want that coffee, and sometimes that's enough to get me moving. So coffee becomes my first task.

For you, it might be going to the bathroom, making tea, feeding your pet, opening the curtains, taking your medication, or simply sitting up in bed. It doesn't need to be productive or impressive, and don't dismiss it because it's something you "have to do anyway." You did it. That counts.

Start with the thing that feels possible. Sometimes that tiny first action creates enough momentum for another one. And if it doesn't? It still counts.

2. Slice the day into manageable pieces

When you're struggling, looking at an entire day can be overwhelming. So don't. Make the day smaller.

How small depends entirely on what you need. If you're feeling very low, breaking your day into dozens of little tasks might actually create more pressure. Your entire plan might simply be morning, afternoon, evening. That's enough structure. You don't need to map out every hour of a difficult day.

But sometimes the problem is different. Maybe you're anxious because there are seventeen things bouncing around your head and they all feel urgent. In that case, smaller slices might help. Focus on the next hour, the next 15 minutes, or just the next thing in front of you.

Instead of asking, How am I going to get through everything today? ask yourself, What do I need to deal with right now? You don't have to tackle one enormous day all at once. Take it one little segment at a time.

3. Put on a song that matches your mood

When you're feeling bad, there's a temptation to think you need to immediately cheer yourself up. Cue the relentlessly happy playlist. But sometimes that's the last thing I want.

Sometimes I want dance music. Sometimes I want Linkin Park.

Music doesn't always have to pull you out of the mood you're in. Sometimes it can simply meet you there. Research into music and emotion regulation supports the broader idea that we use music to engage with and regulate our emotions.

So choose a song that feels right for this moment. Maybe it's comforting. Maybe it's angry. Maybe it's nostalgic. Maybe it has a beat that makes you want to move. Maybe it's a song you've heard a thousand times and know every word to. You don't need the perfect playlist or a soundtrack designed to transform your mood. Just put on one song and see where it takes you.

4. Find some daylight

If going outside already feels doable, this one can be really simple. Take your morning coffee outside. Stand on the front step, sit on the balcony, walk around the block, or just spend a few minutes outdoors in the daylight.

Light is an important environmental signal for our circadian system—our internal roughly 24-hour clock—and researchers have studied relationships between everyday light exposure, our sleep-wake rhythms, and mood.

But there's an important phrase in that first sentence: if going outside feels doable. Sometimes it doesn't. Maybe it's freezing outside. Maybe you're dealing with physical limitations. Maybe leaving your home feels overwhelming. Maybe today is simply not an outside kind of day.

Remember: start where you are. If outside isn't happening, could you sit closer to a window? Could you open the curtains, drink your coffee there, and look outside for a little while? A 2025 meta-analysis of 28 studies found an overall positive association between viewing nature through windows and health and well-being outcomes, with much of the research focusing on psychological outcomes.

Sitting beside a window isn't exactly the same thing as going outside, and it doesn't need

to be. We're not looking for the ideal thing. We're looking for the thing that's available to you today.

5. Move your body a little

There's a reason movement is near the end of this menu. Physical activity can benefit our mental health, but "you should exercise" can very quickly become another piece of homework. That's not what we're doing here.

If a short walk feels good today, take one. If you want to dance around your kitchen for one song, do that. Stretch for a few minutes, walk around your home, or stand up and move while the kettle boils. Movement doesn't have to happen in a gym, it doesn't require workout clothes, and it doesn't have to be intense enough to qualify as a "real workout."

Instead of asking, How much exercise should I be doing? try asking, What kind of movement feels possible right now?

Start there.

It's okay to have a hard day

Some days are going to be harder than others. You won't always have the same energy, motivation, or capacity you had yesterday—and you don't need to.

On a hard day, you don't need to fix everything. You don't need to catch up, make up for lost time, or somehow turn the day around. Maybe today is simply a hard day.

And it's okay to have a hard day.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to do what you can, even if what you can do feels very small. Tomorrow may look completely different.

For today, start where you are.

There's no bad place to start.

Sources

Böhmer, M. N., et al. (2021). Are we still in the dark? A systematic review on personal daily light exposure, sleep-wake rhythm, and mood in healthy adults from the general population. Sleep Health, 7(5), 610–630. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleh.2021.06.001

Cuijpers, P., Ciharova, M., Tong, L., Liu, Y., Sprenger, A. A., Miguel, C., Karyotaki, E., & Harrer, M. (2026). Behavioral activation for depression: A comprehensive systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 128, 102783. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2026.102783

Soga, M., & Gaston, K. J. (2025). Health benefits of viewing nature through windows: A meta-analysis. BioScience, 75(8), 628–636. https://doi.org/10.1093/biosci/biaf089

Thoma, M. V., Ryf, S., Mohiyeddini, C., Ehlert, U., & Nater, U. M. (2012). Emotion regulation through listening to music in everyday situations. Cognition & Emotion, 26(3), 550–560.